April 25, 2012 § Leave a comment
I was advised time and time again to not quit my job until I had another one lined up. And I listened. Until six months later I decided I had had enough. I sent too many resumes out with little to no feedback. So I set an exit date and rehearsed my resignation speech. I marched into my boss’ office on April 2nd and handed him my resignation letter.
When people hear someone is quitting, it’s automatic to ask, “Where are you going?” When people ask me, I have no answer. I’m 26 and I’ve finally figured out what direction I want to head in life. Isn’t that enough? My grandmother was married at 16 and had her first child at 17. Fast forward to 2012, I have no kids, no husband, and I’m following my passion. Why can’t that be enough? « Read the rest of this entry »
April 23, 2012 § 2 Comments
A week before my last day at my job it hit me. My decision to follow my passion was a choice to surrender my security. True I will no longer be at a job that drained all the creativity I need to be a writer. On the contrary, I am no longer granted the comfort knowing when I will be paid, what bills will be receiving their minimum payment, or splurge on lunch/dinner items.
So it’s Monday and I’m freaking out. There is a bonfire beneath my feet triggering a flight response using the wind from my high anxiety to drive me closer towards insanity. I want to run back to my job. Back to being comfortable. Back to the mundane conformity of finding any job you can get in this economy because I am part of a generation that is underpaid, overqualified drowning in student loans that will be with me until death.
And then I hear the voice of reason. My mom.
“Don’t follow the money. More money does not mean more happiness. Follow your passion. You have no kids, no husband, and still live at home. The money will come. Follow what’s within you.”
I hold tight to what my mother told me, as she tends to be right during matters such as this. Perhaps tomorrow the fight response will sink in and I will become a hermit writing myself into fame overnight. Perhaps I dream big within the borders of my unrealistic fantasies.
So as I’ll apply advice from a Hallmark movie I saw last night, I’ll try not to be concerned about what will fill the years ahead of me. Instead I will fill the minutes with things of importance and take it one hour at a time.
For anyone who has left his or her bubble of comfort and dove into uncertainty, I join you. I’ve strapped on my wings of faith and jump into the depths of fear.
Here’s to finding out what lies on the other side.