Goals for 2012

May 7, 2012 § Leave a comment

I have tried multiple times to set up a Vision Board. I read that displaying your true desires where you can see them everyday allows the world to bend your way. Truth is if you’re reminded constantly of what you want in life, you’ll open your eyes to see the opportunities when they cross your path.

It works. And here’s how I know:

My first sorry attempt at making a Vision Board was a few years ago. I bought decorative tape and made a square on the wall next to my bed. It remained blank for weeks. I was listening to Hot 97 when I heard that Jay-Z was stepping in as a headliner for the All Points West 3 day music festival. I had never saw Jay-Z in concert and made a promise to myself I was going to win those tickets.

I went straight to my room, wrote Jay-Z’s name on computer paper, and taped it right in its center. The next opportunity came for the 97th texter to win tickets and I sent multiple texts only to receive in reply you are the 16th texter. You are the 59th texter. You are the 72nd texter. And the last message I saw was Sorry the 97th texter has already been chosen. Not to be discouraged, I assured myself I had the whole weekend to try, but regardless I was going to win those tickets.

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I quit my job. Now what?

April 23, 2012 § 2 Comments

It’s Monday and I don’t have a job to go to.

A week before my last day at my job it hit me. My decision to follow my passion was a choice to surrender my security. True I will no longer be at a job that drained all the creativity I need to be a writer. On the contrary, I am no longer granted the comfort knowing when I will be paid, what bills will be receiving their minimum payment, or splurge on lunch/dinner items.

So it’s Monday and I’m freaking out. There is a bonfire beneath my feet triggering a flight response using the wind from my high anxiety to drive me closer towards insanity. I want to run back to my job. Back to being comfortable. Back to the mundane conformity of finding any job you can get in this economy because I am part of a generation that is underpaid, overqualified drowning in student loans that will be with me until death.

And then I hear the voice of reason. My mom.

“Don’t follow the money. More money does not mean more happiness. Follow your passion. You have no kids, no husband, and still live at home. The money will come. Follow what’s within you.”

I hold tight to what my mother told me, as she tends to be right during matters such as this. Perhaps tomorrow the fight response will sink in and I will become a hermit writing myself into fame overnight. Perhaps I dream big within the borders of my unrealistic fantasies.

So as I’ll apply advice from a Hallmark movie I saw last night, I’ll try not to be concerned about what will fill the years ahead of me. Instead I will fill the minutes with things of importance and take it one hour at a time.

For anyone who has left his or her bubble of comfort and dove into uncertainty, I join you. I’ve strapped on my wings of faith and jump into the depths of fear.

Here’s to finding out what lies on the other side.

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